Art Work!

Hey All,

Just some of the art work, digital work and photo shopping i have done in the past couple of years.

I Invented Post-It's and because of Facebook, everyone knows it!

You walk into the room, 10 kilos lighter than the last time you had seen all these people. Your hair doesn't do that woo hoo thing at the front and you have finally grown into your body and passed that stage where your legs were too long for your torso. Your candy on your arm is looking particularly stunning tonight and your wallet is stocked with photos of your new baby and amazing holiday trips! Your fascinating life is awaiting a glorious show and tell extravaganza!


Hold your breath...step in and ....no one bats an eyelid! WHY?????

Because they already know all about your life, they have seen the photos, heard the news, seen the scandals and watched the weight etch itself off bit by bit...

BUT HOW???

Thanks to our little social media tool Facebook, we all know about each others lives instantaneously. We are no longer separated by the shields we used to put up because we are sharing so much of our lives on the Internet. The access to another persons life has never been so apparent.

High school reunions. We watched Romy and Michelle shock their whole graduating class in their hot new body's, fab new outfits and the attitude that finally saw them as real people and not boxed in D grade members of the school hierarchy. When you leave school, every person has this moment where they envision their life, their career and the trail of success that follows. The whole point of going back to school, to reunite with the people you haven't seen is to brag about your life. Now people will tell you- hey that shows a superficial attitude and twisted logic. I am here to tell you, if you were going back to see your 100 close friends, then you are mistaken. The people you really care about and that you want to see, are the people you are already seeing. You meet up with these people now and then, do the quick catch up and let them into your life, successes and failures. Which leaves the rest of the 100...as the people you do not really care about to be perfectly honest, just the people that you want to show yourself off too. Oh and lets not forget, to snoop on!

What has happened with the shift in social media, the tools such as flick'r, facebook, myspace, youtube, and the beloved RSVP...is that we are engaging our lives so deeply that hardly anything is left to surprise. We are not only connected with our best friends but also with our closest 600 friends if you get my drift. You can explore their holiday photos, see their children being born, see them graduate and hear about their scandalous nights all from your home. And now thanks to Foursquare, you not only know what they are doing but where they are doing it! So when it comes to that great reveal at the high school reunion...the sizzle is lost.

Social media on the one hand keeps us well connected, but is it keeping us too connected? Are we losing that aspect of privacy that keeps our lives interesting, our real life conversations intriguing and our successes celebrated?

I am glad to have these social media tools, because it among other things, fills in the time and keeps me connected. But i am slightly saddened at the fact i will lose out on a huge part of growing up to its fullest degree...The High School Reunion.


Well, I'm off to invent post-it-notes!

PS. "I hope your babies look like monkeys"

Oh to be RICH and FAMOUS!

Fendi purses, silver Lexus' and Dolce this Vuitton that! The life of the sparkling ones, that it appears the sun is always shining on, is a hard life. According to them when they have their breakdowns on national television (coincidentally at the trough of their career)

To be a socialite, one can only hope! Socialites- if you look the word up in the dictionary, (or at least the realistic dictionary) it would state: famous for doing nothing!...And that is pretty much it! They do nothing but advance their career by looking good and feeling great about themselves.


The aspiration by society to amount to something great (i.e. nothing) just like these people is phenomenal. We all want to be noticed, to have the life of luxury and a little car to take us from gig to gig. So why is it that we love these people so much? They, i believe embody everything that we are not. They seem to be physically perfect- skin, body, personality, parties galore and attitude to top the whole thing off that says- i just don't give a ---- four letter word!

They thrive off superficiality and walk the guided path to success, whereas we work hard and take the long and windy road. Do i believe that the world would be better without socialites? Of course not. The point is that they will do things and go places that we could never do and go! We live vicariously through them and let them live out our wildest dreams. The entertainment factor alone of reading about the scandals and never having the backlash personally is brilliant. Not to say that all socialites are the Kens and Barbie's of our world, some do use their unfounded super status to help the less fortunate, charities, raising money, healing the world etc. etc. etc...but at the end of their day- they clearly go back to a 300 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet and lay their silky hair on the pillow dreaming about their next million. And that is what we love most!


I personally am going to make it my little mission to get some degree of socialite status before i die...NO WORK ALL PLAY MAKES ME go WOOO HOO!

Steps to success?...that is a tough one, really it is all a case by case basis...but there must be some link that binds these people together.

1) Have a signature something (looks, stride, personality, laugh, talent...whatever it is make it yours!)

2) Be confident

3) Be seen with the right people at the right time in the right place 4) PHOTO EVIDENCE! If you are cool, be willing to show it to the world. It's called paparazzi...Lady Gaga sang about it and you better get used to it!

5) Have an entourage...! Trailing behind or linked arms, whatever...you need a crew to emphasize you are worth following. And thats pretty much all.

The rest is up to you and the universe!

Round and Round and Round we go...where it stops, nobody knows?

The circle of death!

It sounds worse than it is, and probably conjures up images of cults and ultimate fighting rings, but no- our circle is a silent killer and is much more pleasing to the palette.

The savoury sweet cycle!

Oh i might just nibble on some chips...mmm tasty and delicious...crunch crunch crunch.

Oh dear...there is this overwhelming salty taste in my mouth- how can i counteract this taste with something else delicious...

BAM! and that's where the sweet comes in. Hits you like a ton of bricks, once you get the niggle- you're gone!

So you go...OK- just one piece of chocolate to tide me over. Mmm creamy, creamy, sweet! Party in my mouth.

Now where are you left? In a pool of sugar and nowhere to go except hyperactive town or find something to calm those taste buds! Hello Mr. Taste bud, its me....savoury Steve again.

I think you all get the picture from my enthralling depiction of eating junk food, but the point i am trying to make is that the silent SS loop is the one that will have you sitting on the couch for hours at end and suddenly staring into an empty bag thinking- where did the time go and who stole my food.

NO ONE STOLE YOUR FOOD YOU FOOL!

IT WAS YOU! ( PS. i love caps)

How can we fix this epidemic...or should i say pandemic? Either way i like the dramatic emphasis....

solution 1) lock away your snacks with a key....then bury it in the garden 3 feet under and surround it by barbed wire (not ideal because you may die of starvation and need a lot of iodine to mend yourself after the attempts to retrieve it)

solution 2) Portion your food and make sure you drink plenty of water rather than sugary soft drinks

solution 3) STOP SNACKING!

solution 4) Show your body the extremes of what you are doing to it- before you start snacking...alternate eating a spoonful of sugar and a spoonful of salt (tablespoons please, none of this teaspoon business)

Personally one is my fave, but realistically- two is the way to go.

Enjoy you food and be happy and healthy everyone!

Your so vain!...you probably think this song is about you!

Seriously, we spend our whole lives primping and pampering ourselves (guys included-especially the metro machos out there). Taking time for our hair, buying the branded clothes with the little alligators, tiny ticks and intertwined C's. It's all about image for the first 20 to 25 odd years of your life. We want to look the hottest, be seen, be noticed and be branded! Then post so called 'best/wonder years of our lives' comes a time when the image just ain't cutting it and we want something more. Something to keep us warm at night, to wrap itself around us while we watch telly and fall effortlessly to sleep.

And then something warm and comforting comes along and we just can't be arsed ('scuse my French) anymore and throw our entire vision of what we should be and look like out the kitchen window. What could possibly be so magical that it reverts us from pampered princesses and princes to the regular Joanne and Joe?

THE SNUGGIE?

The Snuggie is pretty much a woolly poncho with pockets and sleeves. It covers you from the neck down in a bagginess that makes you look like your a couch potato even if you aren't sitting on a couch. You could be 10, you could be 20 your could be 30...but with one of these baby's on, you will still look like a 60 year old grandma! It is clearly the most unflattering and horrific outfit i have ever seen. Not to say that it doesn't have its benefits in the winter-y nights at home or at a picnic where a hoodie just won't do. But clearly the world has gone Snuggie mad! The only thing that is more popular is the Sham-Wow (warranted, that thing is amazing!...hmm i really have to get me one of those).

What i am questioning is...why is it OK to wear the snuggie, and not wear a big blanket wrapped around you and cut sleeves? Or why not a robe or a jumper and pants? Now i am not saying that we have to be vain about the whole situation and wear things that make us look good- but the Snuggie is really a way of saying, i have lost all faith in my appearance and i can't be bothered. Soon they will be making Snuggie's for two- so you and your partner can wrap yourself around each other and be warm, have the use of your arms, and lets not forget being able to read books with the handy free book light.

The madness is the popularity of it all! Because of clever branding and marketing, this household blanket has now grown sleeves and a career on television. It is in homes all across Australia. Have to admit, its pretty brilliant. Now if i could just do the same...probably would work with a garbage bag and two foot holes for rain pants!

https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next
Please watch the video...the laughter that awaits you...you can only imagine :)

To This....

Hungry Hungry Heroes and the OMG Burger!

OMG! the burger of the century!

April 9th 2010 00:51

It takes its name for the fact that you probably will look at it, drop your jaw in a mixture of disgust and intense temptation and say Oh My God!

The burger contained a mammoth a "1.8kg beef patty, 12 slices of cheese and some mayo, all packed onto a 30cm brioche." (courtesy of Bigpond News...and yes it made the news)

What i like best about that sentence is that it features "some" mayo...like saying "lots" of mayo suddenly peaks on the disgusting scale.

If you like burgers then who wouldn't be tempted to try the "tasty" treat. The best part of it is the cost. At just over 30 American dollars, you are looking at feeding over 8 people....or 4 very fatty fatties. Oh and P.S. it comes with 2 kilograms of fries!! If you were not full enough.

This ginormous step towards a clear path to childhood obesity has sparked a quest by Hamish and Andy- not to fight for fruits and veggies in the diet...but to embark on a challenge, "slurping" challenge to be more accurate where they will take on the records and mammoth meals of restaurants in Australia.Giant burgers, schnitzels and steaks....dont forget the kilos of fries on the sides. The prize? The comfort in knowing they have made their stamp on society, on its rules and regulation of "safe amounts to eat" and also, a shiny plaque on the wall with their names on it! What more could a person want? Oh - i guess not to die from heart diesase?

I say good luck and go forth! Just make sure to have a good balanced diet before and after the massacre of meat!

http://cnettv.cnet.com/omg-burger/9742-1_53-50085956.html

Mc-Maddnesss!!!

I love the fact that Australia is so multicultural and advanced in the types/ range of food produced and consumed. We are moving more towards healthy eating, seeing the value in fresh, organics and monitoring our exercise so much that it is like fad to be healthy.

When you are young you learn about the food groups right? Fruit and veg/ cereals should be the majority of your daily intake, then meats, dairy and fats.
Fats are a food group! They are necessary in that slightly annoying term...moderation!

What bothers me is that being healthy is something that you have to do around your peers or is seen as acceptable to be done around your peers, but if you are constantly healthy and feel like indulging- it is generally socially frowned upon to do so in front of others- even though they haven't seen you being healthy all week- you still feel like you have to justify the fact you are eating something that is otherwise considered lard!

I definitely feel that it is an important part of being a healthy community and society to support your peers and encourage healthy eating, but the guilt that now tags along with your bag of McDonald's is just another reason to walk passed the store and fork out an extra three or four dollars for your otherwise so called socially acceptable healthy meal.


I live by these rules- 1) don't get obese! 2) Be happy and healthy 3) Enjoy your food in moderation!

Yes! that includes McDonald's, KFC and other fast foodies!

And don't be ashamed to bring your grease stained bags into the work place- if you know that you are supplementing your diet with a little fat from a lot of veges, cereals and proteins...then everything is A-OK