Oh to be RICH and FAMOUS!

Fendi purses, silver Lexus' and Dolce this Vuitton that! The life of the sparkling ones, that it appears the sun is always shining on, is a hard life. According to them when they have their breakdowns on national television (coincidentally at the trough of their career)

To be a socialite, one can only hope! Socialites- if you look the word up in the dictionary, (or at least the realistic dictionary) it would state: famous for doing nothing!...And that is pretty much it! They do nothing but advance their career by looking good and feeling great about themselves.


The aspiration by society to amount to something great (i.e. nothing) just like these people is phenomenal. We all want to be noticed, to have the life of luxury and a little car to take us from gig to gig. So why is it that we love these people so much? They, i believe embody everything that we are not. They seem to be physically perfect- skin, body, personality, parties galore and attitude to top the whole thing off that says- i just don't give a ---- four letter word!

They thrive off superficiality and walk the guided path to success, whereas we work hard and take the long and windy road. Do i believe that the world would be better without socialites? Of course not. The point is that they will do things and go places that we could never do and go! We live vicariously through them and let them live out our wildest dreams. The entertainment factor alone of reading about the scandals and never having the backlash personally is brilliant. Not to say that all socialites are the Kens and Barbie's of our world, some do use their unfounded super status to help the less fortunate, charities, raising money, healing the world etc. etc. etc...but at the end of their day- they clearly go back to a 300 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet and lay their silky hair on the pillow dreaming about their next million. And that is what we love most!


I personally am going to make it my little mission to get some degree of socialite status before i die...NO WORK ALL PLAY MAKES ME go WOOO HOO!

Steps to success?...that is a tough one, really it is all a case by case basis...but there must be some link that binds these people together.

1) Have a signature something (looks, stride, personality, laugh, talent...whatever it is make it yours!)

2) Be confident

3) Be seen with the right people at the right time in the right place 4) PHOTO EVIDENCE! If you are cool, be willing to show it to the world. It's called paparazzi...Lady Gaga sang about it and you better get used to it!

5) Have an entourage...! Trailing behind or linked arms, whatever...you need a crew to emphasize you are worth following. And thats pretty much all.

The rest is up to you and the universe!

Round and Round and Round we go...where it stops, nobody knows?

The circle of death!

It sounds worse than it is, and probably conjures up images of cults and ultimate fighting rings, but no- our circle is a silent killer and is much more pleasing to the palette.

The savoury sweet cycle!

Oh i might just nibble on some chips...mmm tasty and delicious...crunch crunch crunch.

Oh dear...there is this overwhelming salty taste in my mouth- how can i counteract this taste with something else delicious...

BAM! and that's where the sweet comes in. Hits you like a ton of bricks, once you get the niggle- you're gone!

So you go...OK- just one piece of chocolate to tide me over. Mmm creamy, creamy, sweet! Party in my mouth.

Now where are you left? In a pool of sugar and nowhere to go except hyperactive town or find something to calm those taste buds! Hello Mr. Taste bud, its me....savoury Steve again.

I think you all get the picture from my enthralling depiction of eating junk food, but the point i am trying to make is that the silent SS loop is the one that will have you sitting on the couch for hours at end and suddenly staring into an empty bag thinking- where did the time go and who stole my food.

NO ONE STOLE YOUR FOOD YOU FOOL!

IT WAS YOU! ( PS. i love caps)

How can we fix this epidemic...or should i say pandemic? Either way i like the dramatic emphasis....

solution 1) lock away your snacks with a key....then bury it in the garden 3 feet under and surround it by barbed wire (not ideal because you may die of starvation and need a lot of iodine to mend yourself after the attempts to retrieve it)

solution 2) Portion your food and make sure you drink plenty of water rather than sugary soft drinks

solution 3) STOP SNACKING!

solution 4) Show your body the extremes of what you are doing to it- before you start snacking...alternate eating a spoonful of sugar and a spoonful of salt (tablespoons please, none of this teaspoon business)

Personally one is my fave, but realistically- two is the way to go.

Enjoy you food and be happy and healthy everyone!